Posts Tagged ‘just for fun’

Infertility- Some Thoughts From Those Who Suffer

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Thank you so very much, to all of you who have opened your hearts and shared your story with Fairhaven Health. Here are some thoughts that have been shared by our customers, friends, and online community about infertility.

Infertility…

  • is the time a future parent suffers the most for their child.bigstockphoto_Couple_In_Love_73114
  • can be scary, emotional, and very difficult to deal with. But it doesn’t have to be dealt with alone!
  • is a struggle that can be overcome… we just have to believe and stay positive!
  • is a struggle that no one can understand until it happens to them.
  • is really difficult, but “Some of the BEST things in life are WORTH waiting for.” :)
  • has been and still is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to go through.
  • is the most frustrating & heart wrenching aspect of life one can go through. To not know “why” and “what” is the biggest problem.
  • is something most don’t understand. Those suffering from it would give anything in the world to get pregnant. Along with infertility comes: tears, charting, OPK, BBT, frustration, neg pregnancy tests, and much more.
  • is hard to deal with but worth it in the end when your blessed with an angel!
  • changes the lives of many. Not only do we have to deal with all the problems of trying to get pregnant, but also the many losses that can also result from infertility issues, then we try and pick up the pieces and start all over again. It gets harder and harder as more time goes by.
  • gets harder and harder as each HPT is negative.
  • is rarely talked about and the person next to you could be experiencing the same thing and u never know it. It is one of those things u wanna hide in the closet and leave there. Quite depressing really when all u want is a child of your own!
  • is very emotional, it makes you a whole different person. You feel like no one understands you and what you are feeling and struggling with. It is also very hard on couples to become so consumed with with having a baby
  • is life altering. You never think you are going to be “that person” until you go through it first hand and the experience really changes you- as a person and as a couple.

__________________

  • Waiting *patiently* for a baby isn’t easy, it’s quite a roller coaster ride! Between the hopefulness, anticipation, letdown and tears, not to mention the insensitive comments from others, it’s overwhelming sometimes.
  • No matter how tiring and frustrating it may become…we will continue to push forward in hopes that one day soon we will be blessed w/ another child.
  • I so want my little boy to have a sibling soon. I wish for it real soon, but know it will happen on God’s timetable.
  • People tell me that since its me and not my wife and that we still have a chance of getting a pregnant. People tell me to get a sperm donor and that hurts me very much. Prayers are appreciated from a great man that wants to be a great father.
  • After trying for 7 years, we finally became pregnant in 2005 with our now three year old son. We started trying again in 2007, so that there wouldn’t be a big age gap between our kiddos, well two years later and one chemical pregnancy, we still do not have another baby. I really want to give my son a sibling and want to feel the joys of being a mom all over again.

Please read Melissa Sanford’s blog post about Staying Positive in the Midst of Infertility for tips on how to keep your chin up!

How Can I Stay Positive During infertility?

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

We feel honored today to be joined by Melissa Sanford, who is a life coach who helps women deal with the emotional ups and downs that come from struggling with infertility issues. Melissa herself is trying to conceive, and has done many years of research on staying positive during infertility.

MelissaSanfordHeadShotHow can I stay positive during infertility?
There are many ingredients necessary to staying happy and peaceful during infertility. These include fully grieving your losses, pursuing your passions and nurturing yourself and your marriage just to name a few. But the most important thing you can do to stay mentally healthy during fertility issues is manage your thinking. And I don’t mean just walking around trying to think positive thoughts, I mean picking out painful thoughts, questioning them and then consciously replacing them with thoughts that feel better. Here’s how this Notice/Question/Replace process works.

1. Notice what you’re thinking
The first step to staying positive is to actually notice what you’re thinking and find the painful or limiting thoughts. Seems simple, right? Well, it can be tricky to get down to the thoughts at first. If you’re having trouble I recommend first tapping into how you’re feeling. Are you sad, angry, anxious or confused? Your feelings are actually driven by your thoughts. Once you have figured out the feeling, ask yourself why you feel that way and write down any thoughts you uncover. (Note – if you’re feeling great there’s no need to do this work on your thoughts).

2. Question the thought
Step two in the process is to question whether or not the thought is true. It’s simple, but powerful. So, read the thought you wrote down and ask yourself this: “Can I know with 100% certainty that this thought is true?” If your answer is yes, that’s okay. You may really believe it’s true. But oftentimes, the answer to this question will be no. Realizing that your thought is not completely true removes much of its power.

3. Replace it with a true, better-feeling thought
The last step is to replace your thought with a different thought that is true AND makes you feel better. You cannot replace a thought with what you think you should be thinking – that never works. You must choose a replacement thought that you believe and that improves your feeling state.

Let’s look at an example. I had a client who was feeling completely hopeless about her fertility issues. When I asked her why she felt hopeless she answered “Simply put – I’ll never be a mother. My body will never sustain a pregnancy. I’m pretty much not getting the family I dreamed of having.” There were three separate painful thoughts that were leading to her feelings of hopelessness. Let’s plug the first thought into the Notice/Question/Replace process.

Notice – Her painful thought was “I’ll never be a mother.”

Question – When she asked herself “Can I know with 100% certainty that thought is true?” the answer was no. This immediately started shifting her feelings.

Replace – The client chose a replacement thought that was true for her and felt better: “I know I’ll be a mother someday but motherhood may look different then I thought it would.”

This thought work gave the client instant relief as it often does. I use this process daily in dealing with my own infertility and I know it can help you, too. Infertility is a winding road fraught with disappointments, uncertainty and wildly shifting emotions. So, grab a pen and paper and get to work on your thinking – it’s the surest and fastest path to peace.

To learn more about Melissa, and living with peace, joy and abundance in the midst of infertility, see her website: http://findingfertileground.com. Also, be sure to check out her new Fertile Ground Coaching Circle! http://findingfertileground.com/coaching-circle

Trying to Conceive? Learn the Lingo to Help You On Your Way…

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
Fertility SeedlingFor all of you newbie TTCC’s (trying to conceive couples), or family and friends who seem lost when you talk about your TTC endeavors, here is a great little list of terms you will want to be familiar with.

BBT Charting. Basal Thermometer
Charting your Basal Body Temperature (BBT). BBT charting measures the rise in body temperature just following ovulation. By charting BBT, you can begin to understand your cycle and predict your most fertile times. Basal thermometers.

OPK s or Ovulation Tests
Ovulation predictor kits can anticipate ovulation, predicting your most fertile times. OPKs are a reliable and increasingly inexpensive way to predict ovulation accurately. Better yet, ovulation tests also provide a day or more latitude to plan for intercourse. These tests come in two formats: OPK strips and midstream.

Cervical Mucus / Cervical Mucous
Examining changes in your cervical mucus can tell you a great deal about where you are in your cycle. Directly prior to ovulation, changes in the consistency and color of your cervical mucus can alert you to impending ovulation. At ovulation, the quantity of mucus will increase greatly and the appearance will resemble “egg whites”, often semitransparent. The texture will become increasingly slippery and ‘stretchable’. This is your most fertile time.

Corpus luteum
A structure that develops in the ovary and secretes progesterone, which is vital to maintain a uterine environment capable of supporting pregnancy. When the corpus luteum stops functioning, and if a fertilized ovum does not embed in the uterine lining and the placenta begins producing hormones of its own, hormone levels quickly decrease and menstruation begins.

Chemical Pregnancy
A spontaneous miscarriage just following implantation of the egg. You may test positive for pregnancy, as hCG levels do increase for a short while; hence the term chemical pregnancy.

Follicle
It is a fluid-filled sac in the ovary that sustains the developing egg, and from which the egg is released during ovulation. The follicle is stimulated to release the ovum by a hormone called FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone), which is made by the pituitary gland.

Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH)
FSH is a hormone produced by the pituitary gland. It is necessary to achieve pregnancy because it stimulates the maturation of a follicle (within the ovary), allowing for the process of ovulation.

hCG
Human chorionic gonadotropin (or hCG) is the hormone that prolongs the lifespan of the corpus luteum as well as stimulates production of progesterone, another hormone essential to maintain the pregnancy. Our early detection pregnancy tests detect the hCG hormone.

Implantation
When the fertilized egg settles into the uterine lining or endometrium.

Implantation Bleeding
A slight spotting can sometimes, but not always, result from implantation of the egg.

Luteinizing hormone (LH)
A female hormone secreted by the pituitary gland, necessary to regulate ovarian function. Ovulation tests detect LH, thus indicating peak fertility.

LH Surge
The increase in luteinizing hormone in your urine. You are most likely to become pregnant if you have intercourse within 24-48 hours after you detect your LH surge, with 36 hours marking your peak fertility time. Ovulation tests detect your lh surge, allowing you to predict fertility, the time you will most likely become pregnant.

Mittelschmerz
“Middle pain” – an ache or twinge in the lower abdomen – caused by ovulation.

Ovary
One of the two female reproductive organs in which eggs are formed.

Ovulation
The release of the egg (ovum) from the ovary. Ovulation usually occurs approximately 14 days before the next menstrual period is due. Women with irregular cycles can benefit from using a saliva ovulation microscope like Fertile Focus or Ovulook.

Ovulation Test, OPK, Ovulation Predictor Tests
A home ovulation test detects a woman’s LH-Surge – or the time a woman ovulates, allowing a determination of when conception is most likely to take place (period of peak fertility).

Pregnancy Test, HPT, hCG Home Pregnancy Test
Pregnancy tests detect in urine the hormone your body makes during pregnancy: hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin). The amount of pregnancy hormone increases as pregnancy progresses.

Progesterone
One of the female sex hormones, which is produced by the ovary and placenta. Progesterone prepares the lining of the uterus, for implantation of a fertilized egg, and helps maintain the pregnancy.

Sperm
The male reproductive cell. Healthy male sperm can survive approximately 72 hours in a woman’s body.

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